Won’t thaT kiLL mE?

Namaste!It’s been awhile huh?Let’s cut to the chase.For the past weeks, I’ve been watching and listening to Bollywood movie jokes from relatives and friends. It’s such a coincidence that the next Commonwealth Games will be hosted by India. Is there a bias link to all this? Hmmm…of course NOT!!!We all love India. The beautiful sceneries; the world’s love monument,Taj Mahal, colourful culture and not forgetting the oh-so-drop-dead-gorgeous human beings there.India breeds the most Miss Universe ladies and did Asian women justice.(We’re known to be exotic…you gundus!!!)Kudos to India!Apart from all that, we love the Tamil and Hindi movies. Who can deny that?

Here’s something for you to talk about at the dinner table (Make sure everyone has finished eating. You don’t want them to choke on their meatballs do you?!!!),work,school and yada yada yada…(See, it’s not a waste of time to read my blog.)

The joke:

A guy named Timithi Khan was born in India. When he was a teeny wheeny little guy, his family migrated to Canada and has lived his entire life there ever since.One fateful year, he has to go to India for a relative’s wedding ceremony.His family took a straight flight back to India.Even so,he has a lot of time to kill.During the journey, an airstewardess asked if he wants to watch a Hindi movie. He said, why not.Even though the movie was 3 bloody hours long, he still concentrates on getting to the ending. When that part came on, he was so excited to know about the outcome.

The Ending:

Beautiful actress came running into clear field with bright sunny skies. She was singing a sweet love song, dancing and rolling around on the grass patch. Out of the blue, the actor came out and brought a tree with him. The actress saw him, he started singing, dancing and rolling around the tree. Suddenly, the music stops and rain started to fall onto the ground. Their eyes met and they were moving closer and closer til their noses brushed against each other’s.(Ehy!!) When they’re about to kiss, the actress use her sari, cover her face and ran away. Then the movie screen went blank.

Timithi Khan got confused. He asked the airstewardess whether that was the ending of the movie. She said yes.

So…

He held his whiskey and shouted…

Timithi Khan: Dey, Bitch come back!!! Finish the damn movie!!! I watched 3 freaking hours of you and you ran away?!!!

Moral of the story: We L.O.V.E. Bollywood antiques!!!

Namaste.

The MindFiDdler (\m/)

What a day it has been. Here’s a reason why i named the blog "Won’t thaT kiLL mE?". An interview of me taken from the Kaypo Kiah Fan Club Bulletin; courtesy of an insider. Shhh…

Extracted from:

Kaypo Kiah FC Bulletin Episode 8765 (march)

5 minutes with the MindFiDdler

Due to the overwhelming response, we have here with us today a representative from Kaypo Kiah Fan Club to interview the MindFiDdler as to why she named her blog "Won’t thaT kiLL mE?".

KKFC           : Thanks for coming to our FC. We are just curious as…

MindFiDdler:(Rudely interrupts) More like kaypo!!!

KKFC           :(Chuckles) I don’t mean to be rude but we ARE called the kaypo kiah and our f…

MindFiDdler: Get a life you freaking moron!It’s Sunday. Shouldn’t you be off somewhere with your girlfriend?

KKFC           : (Awkwardly laughing) I don’t have a girlfriend but, but if…you’re…willi…

MindFiDdler: (Mafia tone) Before i puke my guts out at your badly done bow tie you better wipe off that silly thought and let’s get down to business. (Throws a cushion at KKFC representative’s face)

KKFC           : (adjusts spectacles) Okay, here we go. Most of us are wondering why you named your blog "Won’t thaT kiLL mE?".

Long silence.

KKFC           : Would you mind telling us…

MindFiDdler: I have a question for you.

KKFC           : Wow! This is the first time the guest on this segment asked me a question. Go on.

MindFiDdler: (Sarcastically) Yeah, yeah! Pop champagne, go celebrate.

KKFC           : This is great. Nobody has ever pop anything for…

MindFiDdler: For goodness sakes! Not literally you dumb@**! Aaah…never mind. Is it five minutes yet?

KKFC           : (Looking at watch) Hmmm…30s pass five. Why?

MindFiDdler: Okay, good! Do I get paid for that extra thirty?

KKFC           : Well, no you don’t. Why do you ask?

MindFiDdler: Cos my time is precious and i have to meet some important people unlike you! Just wasting my freaking time. Bye! (Starts to leave)

KKFC           : But…

MindFiDdler: No buts, me leaving now!!! You go scrub your feet or something.

KKFC           : Scrub my feet? Wait! Wait! How do i do that?

MindFiDdler: Dang! Just go scratch your left nut. (Leaves the room)

Session Ended

S.L.O.W. You people still don’t get it, huh? Here’s the gem.-> It would have killed me if the segment is "10 minutes with the MindFiDdler".  That KKFC guy is squeezing the hell out of my patience. The proverb goes "patience is a virtue". VIRTUE?! VIRTUE?! It is TORTURE!!! Let me explain in lay man’s term:

Patience = Torture = Sufferings = Pain = Death

So if i stayed it will be the death of me. During the long moment of silence in the interview, I was actually analysing the whole situation. I came up with the conclusion to leave because at the back of my mind, i was asking myself this; if i stay there won’t that kill me? Bingo!!! Get it now? If you don’t then this is not for you. Go somewhere else. This is not for the faint hearted and the "dumb headed".

Moral of the story: People voice their sorrows and talk about their lives in their blogs. Blah, blah, bah, bah, bah… Damn! So MONOTONOUS! Won’t that kill you? As for me, I’m not planning to do much of that so as to save you people from having the won’t-that-kill-me syndrome. Peace!

The MindFiDdler (\m/)

Welcome to won’t that kill me?!!! It’s amusing to know that this is my first amateur blog. After all these years?!!! Gosh, where have i been man? My friend, Hakim, already has like hmmm…probably, a 70 year old blog (i might be exaggerating there) plus countless others (links to his sites will be available as soon as i get a green light from him). Reasons to why i decided to name the blog "Won’t thaT kiLL mE?" will be unravelled in the next few upcoming episodes. Ahhh…kaypo kiah-s!!! So stay tune folks…! The mindFiDdler (\m/)